By: rissryker

Jul 02 2014

Category: Uncategorized

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In every person’s life there is that certain someone. That one unforgettable person who takes you on the biggest roller coaster ride of your life. Joelle was that one for me. If there was a word defining the combination of passionate love and burning hate, that would be the word for our relationship. We were like ’cause and effect’. I could think of a hundred other cliches, but I won’t. But trust me on this. I’ve certainly had enough time to think about it.

A lifetime, actually. Because where I am right now, there are no sunsets or stormy skies. No late night joy rides with the wind in your hair. No more feeling the the salty spray of the surf on a windy day. Not even the luxury of a long, hot shower where you feel reborn afterwards. Just endless days of boredom, violence, and a loneliness so deep that your heart shrivels up and dies. I was spared the death sentence, but if you ask me, I’m not so sure I got the better end of the deal.

I met Joelle in a smoky, basement bar by chance one night. I’m not sure the meeting was even supposed to happen, but as fate would have it, it did. The sudden absence of slurring, drunk voices made me look up from my money shot. Eight ball hanging on the edge in the left corner pocket, a clear path from the cue ball to a bank shot off the opposite wall and it would sink it in.

There she was, looking as hot as a sultry night in Rio. Her long, dark hair fell in ebony waves past her creamy cleavage, shimmering with a life of its own. She wore a little black dress like a second skin, complimenting her tall, lithe body. Hot pink lipstick glistened in the dim bar lighting, her lips so luscious looking you had to keep from walking right  up to her and kissing her long and slow, no questions asked.

She sauntered up to the bar and laid down a twenty-spot. “Whiskey, neat,” her voice lazy and low.

She leaned in just far enough to get an eye full of her creamy breasts. That dress of hers left nothing to the imagination. Kicking back two more drinks, she slowly turned to survey the room, like a cat searching for prey. Stomachs were sucked in, hair smoothed back and breath checked in the palms of hands, you could almost smell the testosterone. But when her smokey eyes landed on mine, my heart thumped in fiery passion, unmatched. She’d found her target.

Setting down my pool stick, I approached her, drawn like a bee to honey.

“Hi. Um, you look, uh, wow. I mean, my name’s Rudy. Nice to meet you,” I held out my hand, not knowing what else to do. I felt like a virgin.

“Rudy, huh? Well, the pleasure is all mine.” she purred, ignoring my outstretched hand. She looked me up and down, her dark eyes dilating with a hint of desire that made my heart race. Leaning in towards me, she placed her lips near my ear, and whispered,

“Ya know what, Rudy? I’m bored. Let’s blow this place, huh?”

“Now? With you?” I stammered like a puppy crushed teen. “Yes! I mean, yes. Your right, we should go someplace quiet.”

She laughed like a naughty girl with a new toy, her finger playing with a stray curl that stubbornly refused to lay low around my ear. I envied that curl for a moment.

We got to know each other that night in ways that I never knew existed. From that night on, our world became the two of us. Your probably thinking it was sex that kept us together, and your right. Sex with Joelle was like she re-invented it. Not only was she insatiable, her imagination knew no bounds. She was the Kasparov of fornication. The Fabio of fellatio. She took me to new heights never reached before. 
We became a hot item, meeting here at the bar, having a few drinks, and then falling into bed, ravenous.

Joelle and I decided to head home early on that night, after having a minor argument. Arguing with this woman was like wrestling with a ten legged tiger. You’re not winning. The road was dark, empty and steaming from the humidity of the evening storm, and I was tense as hell. I just wanted to go home and relax with my girl, when it happened. He came out of no where. I looked up and there was this man in the middle of the road. My Jeep hit him with such force, his body looked like a rag doll as he cartwheeled into the air. Hitting the pavement about twenty feet away, he bounced once, and lay still. Coming to a screeching stop, Joelle’s shrieks of surprise and fear echoing in my head, I sat there in a panicked state of shock.

“Holy shit, Rudy. Oh, my God.” she whispered, her teeth biting her knuckles.

“I’m afraid to look. Jesus, Joelle. What have we done?” I said, my heart pounding.

“What do ya mean what we’ve done, Rudy?  You hit him. You’re driving,” she looked at me coldly, and for the first time, I really saw her. She had no emotion in her eyes at all. Just fear for her own well being. I never noticed that about her before. Now I saw all too clearly.

“Well? Are you just going to sit there looking like you just lost your best friend?” she sneered. “Go! Go see what you did to the poor guy!” She pushed my shoulder towards the car door.

I got out of the jeep and leaned against the door. Who was this stranger I was with? There were no cars in sight, thank God, and I walked over to the unmoving lump on the side of the road. Joelle got out of the car and joined me, breathing heavily. Taking my hand, we stood looking at the body, a young man between twenty and twenty-five or so. A pool of blood was forming under his head, and his left leg was twisted in a position no leg should turn. Then he moaned.

Joelle’s eyes flew open in shock and she took a involuntary step back.

“My God!” she said to me in a high, unbelieving voice. “Rudy! Do something!”

“Do something, Joelle?” I turned to her, “Call 911! There’s nothing we can do for this man!”

“No! Don’t, Rudy. We’ll go to jail, I know it. Let’s just leave.” she begged. “Let’s just go, now.”

“Are you crazy?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.”He’ll die!”

“He’s gonna die anyway, Rudy. As a matter of fact, we should just put him out of his misery.”She said in a matter of fact voice. “Kill him, Rudy.”


“I said, kill him.”

I looked at this stranger next to me in shock. What I saw was a person excited by the thought of seeing me murder someone. She turned to me, her eyes wild and sparkling, the pink tip of her tongue darting out to lick her lips like a predator about to devour it’s prey.

“Kill. Him.” she growled. “Do it, Rudy. Put the man out of his misery.”

“I can’t do that Joelle! You’re fucking crazy!” I argued.

“Rudy, if you don’t kill him right now, this relationship is over, do you understand me?” she said, her voice deadly soft.

“How? How do I just kill a man?”

She walked to the back of the car and popped the trunk. Reaching in, she rummaged around until she found what she was looking for. The tire iron.

“Use this.” She shoved the tire iron in my hands. ‘Now do it.”

I looked at the man who was face down, and wondered if I could. Would I be able to just swing this tire down on another man’s skull? I shuddered and Joelle looked me with disgust.

“Your not a man, you’re a coward, Rudy. Would you rather see me rot in jail? Cause that’s exactly what’s going to happen if you don’t kill him right now.” she said in a deadly voice. She shoved the tire iron into my shaking hands, pushing me forward. I stood looking down at the moaning man, and slowly brought the tire iron over my head.

“Do it Rudy!”

My knuckles turned white from the grip and my eyes teared up.

Do it Rudy!”

“Let me think! Will you shut up the fuck up and let me think?!” I screamed at her.

My brain was trying to process multiple shocks right now. This bloody, broken man on the ground in front of me, and the fact that the woman I loved more then life itself had a cold-blooded killer’s heart.

“He’s gonna tell, Rudy. He’s gonna tell on us. Kill him.kill him! Do it, Rudy!” she screamed at me, spittle flying from her mouth. Her eyes glittered with madness and mayhem.

Finally, I made up my mind. I loved Joelle. She was my reason for living. I swung the tire iron with all my might, connecting with flesh and bone. The first blow didn’t do it, I could see that, so I swung it over and over until bits of brain matter smeared the end of it. Sinking to my knees, my forehead touching the cold, wet asphalt, I cried out in despair.

When the troopers took me away, they kept asking me why. Why did you do it? I couldn’t help but hear the song from Guns and Roses playing in my head over and over in Axel Rose’s growling whine, “I used to love her, but I had to kill her”.


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